My Story
When I was 17 my mother took me to see a plastic surgeon about getting breast reduction. I was a 38DD, didn’t like my breast very much and struggled to find clothes that fit right. Before the surgery the doctor warned me that I may not be able to breastfeed as the milk ducts may be severed but at 17 that seemed a long way off and I wasn’t too concerned about his warnings.
Fast forward a few years and I am 28, pregnant and eager to be the best mother I can be. The more I learn, I am determined to breastfeed my unborn child and give him the best start in life. Somehow, deep inside is a driving force that compels me to do so even though I know very little about it. Before my son Connor’s birth, I contacted a lactation consultant who was happy to do a consultation but said that before the birth there was little they could do to determine if I would produce enough milk. During my pregnancy my breast continued to grow and I was able to express some colostrum so I got more and more excited about breastfeeding Connor.
I went into labor 10 days past my due date and had quite a difficult time bringing Connor into the world. I labored for 41 hours and despite being determined to have a natural birth, I had an epidural (at 35 hours), Pitocin and an emergency c-section. So much for my vision of doing everything the natural way! Unfortunately, I now had my system flooded with drugs and although I’d stated in my birth plan that I wanted to breastfeed Connor within the first hour of his birth, I was too heavily sedated to even contemplate that. It took three hours before I was first able to bring him to my breast and he latched on like a champ. I was elated!
I stayed at the hospital for four days following my c-section. I fed Connor on demand and gave him as much skin-to-skin contact as I could. I also went to breastfeeding meetings and saw two lactation consultants to try and get the best start possible to our new nursing relationship. We left the hospital on day five but the lactation consultants were already concerned as he was rapidly losing weight.
My milk only started coming in ten days after Connor was born which was very late (I believe this was due in part to all the drugs I had been taking as well as our delayed start to our first time nursing). By then Connor had lost 18% of his body weight and the doctors told me to put him on formula right away or else we were headed for the ER. I was devastated. Of course I did exactly what the doctors told me but I was terrified this would compromise my nursing relationship with Connor.
I got in contact with a local Le Leche League Leader who was literally my life line and I would ring her on the very hard days and simply cry. She really encouraged me and I remember her saying that I just needed to get through this feeding and then I could decide whether I wanted to continue for the next one. I believe it was her support and guidance that really helped save our nursing relationship.
I had some really hard nights when I’d get up in the middle of the night to nurse Connor and he’d just scream at my breast in frustration as he was so hungry and my milk wouldn’t come fast enough for him. My husband was wonderful when I cried out for him to come and I’d delve into tears so ready to give up. I am grateful that in the moments when I could not he would simply come and take over.
Thankfully Connor’s weight did start to slowly recover and we began reducing the amount of formula. I was still unsure how to proceed or exactly how much milk I was producing. My Mom told me that if breastfeeding was too hard I should simply give up. She had breastfed my brother for six weeks and then simply given over to formula. I was determined not to accept defeat and agreed to go to a lactation consultant to determine how much milk I was producing. I also needed a plan to focus on nourishing my baby while stimulating my milk supply. I knew the lactation consultant was pro-breastfeeding as opposed to my mother and husband who seemed to think opting for formula was just as good as breast milk. She gave me a realistic idea of how much I was producing and then gave me a plan. I was to nurse Connor for 20 minutes on each breast and then give him as much formula as he wanted. Then I had to pump for 20 minutes on each side to stimulate my milk supply even further. This plan was exhausting and would take me about an hour and a half, start to finish. I would have half an hour off before Connor wanted to nurse again. It seemed an impossible schedule to do every two hours but I was determined to stick to it.
The lactation consultant also recommended I take More Milk Special Blend and Goats Rue to boost my milk supply (both are herbal supplements) as well as Domperidone, a medication I had to import from overseas because it is not FDA approved (due to licensing costs). Domperidone in particular gave me a huge boost and I ended up achieving a 60% breast milk supply which was up from my initial 30%. I also started using an SNS (an at breast supplementer) which helped Connor to take formula from tubes taped to my breast so that the sucking action would further stimulate my milk supply and increase Connor’s time at the breast. Through it all my little boy was a champ and seemed as committed to breastfeeding as I was.
At six months Connor started on solids and we were able to reduce the amount of supplement we gave him. At a year we stopped all bottle of formula completely. I was no longer using the SNS and I gave up pumping. My yield was so small anyway (only about 2oz per day when I pumped after each feed) that it didn’t seem worth it. Now the real fun began as I could simply focus on nursing Connor and we could have a breastfeeding relationship without all the added extras. I was thrilled to finally feel just like a regular mom.
