Celebrating Our Commitment to Breastfeeding
I moved to the US when I was four months pregnant and still waiting to get my green card. By the time it came through, I was too far along in my pregnancy to start work. My intention was to have my son, Connor, and then go back to full-time work when he was three months. Everything changed after his birth and at three months neither of us was ready to for me to return to full-time work. I compromised and worked as a part-time nanny offering care out of my home. This allowed me to be with Connor full-time and bring in some money. It has been a great solution which also really supported my determination to continue breastfeeding.
You may remember, from reading My Story, that I struggled with low milk supply because of breast reduction surgery I’d had when I was younger. I had such low supply that despite pumping after each feeding, I was still only able to pump two or three ounces in total a day. This would never have been enough for him if I returned to full-time work and I probably would have kissed my nursing relationship with my son goodbye. I am very fortunate that I was able to stay home with him and continue to nurse on demand as we do to this day.
I’m currently job hunting after about three years out of the corporate world. Motivating my choice to stay home for so long seems to be challenging given the extended leave of absence I have taken from the work force, especially in the current economic climate. Employers want to see company loyalty and I haven’t been able to show that for the last few years. It got me thinking about examples of dedication and commitment in my life. My commitment to breastfeed is a wonderful example. I remember in the early days when Connor was about six weeks old and I was so desperate to nurse my child but couldn’t get my body to co-operate. I nearly threw in the towel many times. A Le Leche League Leader was on call to talk me through some of the darker days. She told me to just to get through this feeding and I could give up after that if I liked. Her support and words of encouragement carried me when I thought the dream of nursing my son was impossible. There were middle of the night feeds that I did in tears calling out in frustration at the end for my husband to come and take over with a supplmental feeding because I couldn’t any more. Despite all of this, I persevered until Connor and I found our groove. I got the help I needed to maximize my milk supply and we found a way to make this work for both of us. Twenty seven months down the road, Connor and I now enjoy the benefits of sticking with one another. We both love breastfeeding so much. He stuck with me like a champ through all the hard days until we came through the other side.
Although your own nursing story may differ, many women struggle to breastfeed their children in the early days. It often takes a great deal of determination and resolve to continue especially when you’re sleep deprived. It would be so much easier just to hand the baby to daddy who can give him some formula so you can go back to sleep. I am so glad that I didn’t give into this temptation. What saddens me is that in an interview, my breastfeeding relationship and the commitment and dedication required are virtually irrelevant and perhaps even politically incorrect to mention. Initially when preparing my resume, I listed Boobiefed and the work I’ve done on the site. I was told it was too personal to include and recruiters suggested I remove it. It is with huge sadness that I realise to potential employers this long nursing journey doesn’t mean anything and instead should be filtered. I dream of the day when being a nursing mother is honored and respected and that extended breastfeeding is admired. My hope is that extended breastfeeding becomes the norm as it used to be (and still is in many cultures around the world). Perhaps then my choices won’t seem so shocking to corporate America.
This week my blog is personal because breastfeeding is personal and will change you as a person and a mother. It will certainly have a dramatic benefit on your life as well as that of your child. I will forever treasure my nursing relationship with my son and plan to breastfeed him until he’s ready to give up his boobies. I am grateful that my husband acknowledges what a commitment nursing our son has been. I know the bond we share, deepened specifically because of breastfeeding, is priceless. I dream of a world where the boardrooms across the globe awaken to that realization as well and the discrimination that stands in the way of stay-at-home mother’s is broken down.
